It starts with a simple text: Did you hear? He got into Stanford! Or maybe it’s your cousin’s LinkedIn post, racking up thousands of likes. Or your colleague just bought a house in San Jose and still made rajma-chawal from scratch on a Tuesday. And suddenly, your throat tightens. You’re successful. You’ve checked every box on the checklist. But somehow, you can’t relax or exhale.
Why does anxiety after success feel so common among South Asians? Why does every achievement seem like a milestone and a moving target?
The Cultural Blueprint of Always More From childhood, many South Asians are taught this formula:
Hard work + Sacrifice = Respectable Life
But here’s the catch: the formula never tells you when to stop. Not when your job is stable. Not when your salary has more zeros than you ever dreamed. Because what if someone else is doing more?
This inherited cultural ambition creates a mental treadmill. No matter how fast you run, the horizon stays just out of reach fuelling constant stress and anxiety in many South Asian immigrants and professionals.
The Biology of Never Feeling Safe: This struggle isn’t just cultural. It’s biological, too.
When we reach a big milestone, our brain releases dopamine (the “feel-good” hormone) and cortisol, the stress hormone. Many high achievers live in a state called anticipatory threat response-always bracing for the next challenge or failure.
Even your wins can feel like warnings: Now you’ll have to maintain this. Don’t mess it up. What will they say if you slow down? Studies suggest that cultural stigma and the pressure to achieve contribute to elevated rates of anxiety and emotional suppression amongst immigrants.
Meet Rehan- Rehan (31), a Google product manager in Mountain View, is the immigrant success story on paper:
Moved to the U.S. for grad school on a full scholarship
Married his college sweetheart
Now earns $280K annually
Yet Rehan hasn’t slept well in weeks.
I keep worrying about layoffs. I check my phone even before brushing my teeth. My dad tells people I’m ‘settled,’ but I don’t feel settled at all.
Rehan’s experience reflects what many therapists now call ambition anxiety-the emotional burnout common among high-functioning South Asians who push themselves relentlessly and fear standing still.
How to Detach Ambition from Fear: We don’t need to stop being ambitious. But we do need to separate ambition from fear.
Redefine success as internal fulfilment not just external validation
Set boundaries: daily cut-offs, non-negotiable rest hours
Build a support circle where you don’t need to perform
Name your pressure- say it out loud, or write it down
Final Thought: The Pendulum Can Pause
Feeling anxious after success doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means your nervous system has been sprinting for so long, it doesn’t recognize rest. South Asians often survive by over-functioning. But thriving also means learning to breathe easy after you’ve made it.
Ready to talk?
TheraWin offers culturally aware therapy for high-functioning South Asians who are tired of just being "fine." Confidential. Compassionate. Convenient. Start your therapy journey here → https://therawin.health/
